“so you think you can dance”: handicapping the top 20

Even though it seems like we just crowned Jeanine Mason “America’s Favorite Dancer,” So You Think You Can Dance has quickly segued into their first fall season, giving us another group of talented dancers to entertain us each week. Here are my thoughts on the top 20.

I love tappers, and I loved Phillip Attmore’s audition, but last night’s conveniently placed clip of his backtalk to the judges will surely turn some people off to him. I think a lot of Phillip’s success rides on which female dancer he’s paired with.

Billy Bell is an early favorite of mine. The strength of his dancing comes as somewhat of a shock, as though it’s not possible for this skinny, pale kid to bring Adam Shankman to tears. I really look forward to seeing Billy’s growth in the top 20.

My spotty viewing of the audition rounds prevented me from seeing Channing Cooke before last night. Athletic strength doesn’t always translate to strong dancing, but she seems to have a balance of both. She’s like the Kherington of season 6, albeit less annoying, so I think viewers will become well acquainted with her.

I’ve literally never seen Ariana DeBose before finding out she was in the top 20, and the producers couldn’t be bothered to show much of her dancing. Depending on her partner, Ariana could make an early exit just from the fact that the viewers don’t have much of a rapport with her.

The less I have to see of Ashleigh DiLello, the better. She’s clearly hamming it up for the cameras every chance she gets, and the faces she makes while both dancing and talking are obnoxious. I get the whole husband and wife shtick the producers are going for, but her dancing is mediocre, and “personality” can only get you so far.

Ryan DiLello is far more talented than his elastic-faced wife. A strong male ballroom dancer has been missing from SYTYCD for the past few seasons, so if Ryan’s prowess extends beyond ballroom floor, I think he has a good chance of making the top 10.

Russell Ferguson is the earliest of my early favorites. When I saw this krumper excel at Louis van Amstel’s insane cha-cha-cha during Vegas week, I was shocked. Russell further shocked me by completely killing it in the following jazz, contemporary and Broadway routines. The cynic in me finds his claims of having no previous training suspect, but I hope it’s true and he’s simply a wealth of untapped talent.

Detest is not a strong enough word to describe my dislike for Mollee Gray. Nigel was completely spot-on when he told her that she dances like a 14 or 15-year-old. I’d place her maturity level at about the same age. Sure, she has great technique, but the emotional connection to her dances is lacking. Can she master the fiery paso doble? The sultry rumba? A hard-hitting hip hop? Mollee will definitely alienate older viewers, but the younger crowd will text enough votes to keep her around for longer than I’d like.

As far as female ballroom dancers go, I’ll take Karen Hauer over Ashleigh any day. Her audition was strong, but her lack of camera time throughout Vegas could hurt her.

Hip-hop is often over-represented in the SYTYCD top 20, but this season, Kevin Hunte is the sole hip-hopper (not counting krumper Russell or b-boy Legacy). He’s very versatile, as glimpses of him in Vegas showed, but there are a lot of strong males this season, so Kevin’s versatility will have to go a long way.

We haven’t seen much of contemporary dancer Jakob Karr thus far, but the little we have seen shows a lot of promise. I hope he does better than my early contemporary favorite from last season, Jason Glover, who was kind of a disappointment.

The only thing Noelle Marsh has going for her is that she’s mildly less obnoxious than her “best friend” Mollee. (Side note: How fast can one become someone’s best friend? Apparently for these two, it’s the length of time it took some random PA to put them in the same hotel room.) We haven’t seen much of her dancing, so Noelle’s run in the top 20 is TBD.

Throughout Vegas, Paulina Mata was one to watch for me, so when she suffered that terrible ankle injury before the Broadway round, I thought she was a goner. Her spirit seemed a little beaten post-injury, so hopefully being in the top 20 gives Paulina the spark she needs to become a true contender.

Kathryn McCormick is a great dancer, as seen in the clips we saw last night. Viewers may have a hard time remembering her talent, however, after witnessing the horrible sound of her voice when she cries. When the tears started, her voice reached octaves that only dogs and dolphins can hear. Unless Kathryn can pull it together and keep the tears in check, she’s going to have a hard time getting votes.

I’ll keep my thoughts about Jonathan “Legacy” Perez short: he’s annoying, and I don’t get the hype. The end.

Tapper Bianca Revels is very talented and has a lot of personality to back it up. She also has quite a fan following, as this is her third season on SYTYCD. Her tapping is great, but I fear she may struggle with ballroom or contemporary.

Peter Sabasino rounds out the trifecta of tappers this season, and while we haven’t seen much of him yet, I have to applaud Nigel and the rest of the judges for not pulling the “we need to keep the genres equally represented” card when it came to the tap dancers. Now if only we could get some more ballet dancers on the show…

All I can really recall about Ellenore Scott is that I declared her “really obnoxious” after her audition. We know Nigel loves personality, and Ellenore has plenty to go around.

Victor Smalley’s curly Mohawk suffered the same fate as Kupono’s floppy Mohawk last season: shorn off in a Las Vegas bathroom. The haircut is definitely an improvement, and from what I saw of Victor last night, he has great technique.

Nathan Trasoras has the advantage of being a favorite from way back in season 5. His audition was phenomenal, but he was too young to qualify. Nigel, in a rare moment of clarity, saw Nathan’s potential and gave him a ticket for Vegas in season 6. For being so young, Nathan is a great dancer, and I think he’ll fit nicely into the requisite non-threatening male that makes the teen voters go crazy.

Be sure to tune in on Monday October 26 for “So You Think You Can Dance: Meet the Top 20,” where viewers will get to see each dancer perform in their own style, as well as in choreographed group numbers. The judges will then pair up the dancers at the end of this SYTYCD special.

Photo courtesy of Fox.com

the ultimate oxymoron: britney spears sings live.

During her seemingly endless Circus tour, Britney Spears stopped in Greensboro, NC last night and sang a cover of Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know.” Unlike 99.9% of Britney’s performances, this one was actually sung live and didn’t induce bleeding from the eardrums.

YouTube video courtesy of user BOYBLACKICE.

a touching tribute from blink 182.

I attended the blink 182 concert last night at the Comcast Theatre. Overall, the show was great, but blink’s set took a somber turn about 4 songs in, when Mark Hoppus stopped to acknowledge the death of the band’s friend, Adam “DJ AM” Goldstein. Hoppus openly cried as he spoke to the crowd, and asked the crowd to have a moment of silence in Goldstein’s honor. The YouTube video above does show that some people misunderstood “silence” to mean “shout obnoxiously as loud as you can,” but 95% of the crowd kept their mouths shut and paid their respects. It was eerie to hear all of the people in the sold-out pavilion and the jam-packed lawn seating fall silent, some holding up lighters or cell phones to mark the moment.

The monitors on stage showed Hoppus and Tom DeLonge crying throughout the next song, and Travis Barker was openly distraught, putting his head in his hands before the song was over. It took a while for the dark mood that settled over the show to go away, but DeLonge acknowledged that music is what helps them cope with the terrible stuff that happens in life, and tonight was a testament to that fact.

For more on blink’s tribute, check out People’s article here.

YouTube video courtesy of user madheadsTV.

you’re a ‘hot mess’ and i’m falling for you.

It’s taken them three albums, but Cobra Starship has finally found stable middle ground. New album “Hot Mess” takes the smooth synth-pop sound from their debut album “While the City Sleeps, We Rule the Streets,” and mixes it with the over-the-top outrageousness of second album “Viva La Cobra.” Add a dash of big-named guests (Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester, Fall Out Boy’s Patrick Stump, Kara DioGuardi, and Kevin Rudolf), sprinkle liberally with lyrics about partying and hooking up, and you’ve got the most consistent album that Cobra Starship has released in their four year career.

Many people who were fans of frontman Gabe Saporta’s former band, Midtown, often beg him to ditch his purple hoodies and go back to his roots, but he seems to be most comfortable in Cobra Starship, where he can take musical risks that would be career suicide for anyone else. Sampling Hall and Oates? No problem. Titling a song “Pete Wentz Is the Only Reason We’re Famous”? Of course.

One big difference between “Hot Mess” and Cobra Starship’s other albums is that this one follows the band’s first true radio success, with “Good Girls Go Bad” reaching number 10 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. None of Cobra Starship’s other singles have ever been featured this heavily on the radio, so it will be interesting to see if radio play translates to higher album sales.

Album opener “Nice Guys Finish Last” explodes out of your speakers and grabs you by the shirt, sampling both Gary Glitter’s “Rock and Roll Part II” and Adam Ant’s “Goody Two Shoes.” The title track has a catchy chorus and could easily get heavy radio rotation, if “Good Girls Go Bad” is any indication. “Fold Your Hands Child” and “Living in the Sky With Diamonds” provide a welcome respite from the album’s constant high. Cobra Starship even acknowledges the fact that most of the music scene doesn’t take them seriously with “You’re Not in On the Joke, singing “If you see them laughing/don’t follow them/’cause they’re not in on the joke.” It may seem exclusionary, but it’s true; diehard Cobra Starship fans get what the band is about, and that’s part of their massive appeal. Those who find the band annoying need not apply.

It’s sad, though, that Cobra Starship doesn’t get the respect they deserve and are written off as neon-loving hipsters with limited talent. Peruse and Cobra-related message board on punknews.org or absolutepunk.com and you’ll find comments like this gem: “What’s the joke to be in on? Getting a bunch of kids to listen to shitty dance music in the guise of a rock band?” Cobra Starship may not be the most serious of bands, but the music is fun, and that’s really all that matters.

Underneath their quirky, Day-Glo exterior, Cobra Starship is smart and it’s obvious that each musical step they take, including the ones taken on “Hot Mess,  is carefully calculated.

(photo courtesy of MTV.com)

’so you think you can dance’: judging the final four

  It’s hard to believe that we’re already down to the final four in SYTYCD, with the finale less than a week away. Here are my thoughts on the remaining dancers:

Evan: The one positive thing I can say about Evan’s inclusion in the finale is that he adds some diversity, with the other 3 dancers all being contemporary. Looking back at Evan’s performances throughout the season, I’m pretty underwhelmed. He didn’t even perform well in the two Broadway numbers he was given, which is weird considering it’s his own style. The only time Evan stands out is when he does his solos, and this shows nothing but his inability to adapt to other dance styles, this being the entire point of SYTYCD. He obviously has a rabid fan base, given he is the only dancer going into the finale who has not been in the bottom two.

Brandon: Looking back at Brandon’s performances so far, I’m still left scratching my head as to why he’s been in the bottom two. Brandon ranks among the top 10 male dancers to ever dance on this show, but I don’t think that guarantees him the win. Thinking back to past seasons, technically flawless male dancers have made it far but never won (see: Travis, Danny and Will for examples). There’s a good chance he’ll be in the top 2, but I’d be very surprised if Brandon wins.

Kayla: Obviously the judges’ darling, Kayla has given strong performances all season. However, she has also made three appearances in the bottom 2, indicating that America hasn’t really embraced Kayla. There’s no question that she’s a talented dancer, but I think she’ll be eliminated first or second in the finale, much like season 3 judges darling Lacey.

Jeanine:This girl is the winner. Is she the best dancer out of the four remaining? That’s questionable, but her growth throughout the season has been wonderful to watch, and she’s just so genuinely likable. I remember Jeanine admitting in her interview during the top 20 performance show that she doesn’t have amazing legs or perfect turnout, but that she does have passion for what she’s doing. That’s always stuck with me as I’ve watched her dance throughout the season. Towards the beginning, I thought she was riding along on Philip’s popularity, but when she saved their horrendous top 18 tango and was the best part about their top 12 jive, I knew I was very wrong about Jeanine. Once she lost Philip as a partner and got to dance with guys who equalled her talent, Jeanine quickly became my pick to win. (I think it was the Travis Wall-choreographed piece that she danced with Jason that did it for me.)

Just to recap, I’d like to see Brandon and Jeanine as the final two, with Jeanine taking the title of America’s Favorite Dancer. (Until December, when season six crowns a new favorite.)

let’s get warped.

The Warped Tour is celebrating its 15th birthday this summer, and yesterday I was lucky enough to see the tour for the first time in my life during its stop in Hartford. The Comcast Theatre (or the Dodge or the Meadows, depending on how old you are) was completely transformed into this crazy  rock and roll summer camp of sorts. The great thing about the Warped Tour is that its variety of acts attracts all kinds of people; yesterday’s crowd ranged from preteens decked out in their Hot Topic finery to see 3OH!3, to people in their late 20s/early 30s who braved the insanity to see solid sets from big d and the kids table and Streetlight Manifesto.

I could have spent all day simply people-watching. I mean, where else can you see a guy in Buddy Holly glasses holding a bong in one hand and a BlackBerry in the other? I saw many teens with as much decorative metal on their faces as orthodontic metal in their mouths. I wanted to ask the skinny redhead next to me during the Maine’s set if either of her two lip rings ever got caught in her braces. Kids of all ages ran around the dusty parking lot, their bodies covered in band merch and free stickers while their parents sipped $9 Bud Lights inside the amphitheater, waiting for the nine-hour day to end. Tattoos were just as prevalent as body piercings; between the artists, crew members and fans, there was easily over $10,000 worth of ink on display. Some notable tattoos included Snoopy looking up at a tree on a woman’s calf and a flaming puzzle piece on a woman’s neck.

Having never been to an all-day festival concert like this before, I was on sensory overload. There was so much to see and so much new music to hear that it was easy to get overwhelmed. It was difficult to pick which of the seven sets going on almost simultaneously you wanted to see, but what I did get to see yesterday was great. We started off the day with the end of Senses Fail’s set, then caught most of 3OH!3. I’ve already aired my grievances with 3OH!3 and their strange brand of electro-rap-rock, but you can’t deny that they have a huge following:

I took this picture at the back of the crowd, easily one of the largest I saw that day. I sat out during Brokencyde’s set,  because I literally could not stomach their music, which is labeled “screamo-crunk.” Aside from being audibly abrasive, the lyrics were more crude than some of the rap music I listen to. The crowd of mostly teenage girls didn’t seem to mind, singing along to lyrics that included “Will you be my booty call?” and other things that I’m too embarrassed to reprint. Fueled By Ramen’s A Rocket to the Moon played an enjoyable set inside away from the hot sun, and Meg and Dia gave what may have been the tamest set of the entire day, with Dia asking the crowd at one point if they liked to read because it was “great reading weather.”

The one band whose appeal I didn’t get was Breathe Carolina, an electro-screamo band made up of the strangest assemblage of people. The lead singer looked like a Daisy of Love reject, complete with a shirt that said “You can’t spell stud without STD.” Classy. The screamer/vocalist was a nerdy guy in a baseball tee, and the keytarist was a small guy with hipster hair and facial piercings. A chubby DJ/keyboardist in mesh shorts and a nondescript drummer rounded out the group. I found their music generally irritating, but their cover of Miley Cyrus’ “See You Again” was entertaining, if not laughable.

After that atrocity, I finally got to see the Maine, one of two bands I was looking forward to seeing that day. (We missed the White Tie Affair’s set since they went on 15 minutes after the doors opened.) It would be easy to dismiss them as just another pop-punk band, but their music is so undeniably catchy. I’ve been a fan of their music for a long time, but this was the first time I’d seen them live, due to an unfortunate concert experience last summer where I missed their opening set. Despite being almost suffocated by the people around me, I really enjoyed their set.

Up next was Saosin, a band I don’t have strong feelings about either way. My sister likes them, and she warned me that crowd surfing might get kind of intense during their set, having seen them before. I’ve never liked crowd surfing or really understood its appeal, but I figured if it got too intense, I could just leave and wait by the fence. It did get kind of crazy, but we were standing near the side of the stage and most of the surfing was going on near the middle. I could see most of the goings-on in my peripheral vision, and every once in a while I turned around to make sure no one was coming up behind me. However, there was one guy who came up right behind me and I did not see him coming at all. The next thing I knew, his foot hit the back of my neck really hard and I pitched forward. My vision immediately blurred and I just bolted out of the crowd. I ran to the safety of the fencing and realized that not only could I not see straight, but I was now dizzy and shaking uncontrollably. A concerned girl who I pushed by to get out and an equally concerned mother came up to me and while one checked to make sure I was okay, the other went to get the EMTs.

Long story short, I spent some QT with the EMTs while I waited for my vision to return to normal and to make sure my situation didn’t get worse. I ended up with whiplash of sorts and a pretty brutal headache, not to mention I got to walk around for the rest of the night holding an ice pack to my neck. (Aside from a stiff neck, I was fine this morning.) We spent the rest of the evening in the safety of the amphitheater, watching the end of  big d and the kids table’s set. We stayed for a few minutes of “Queen of the Internet” Jeffree Star’s set, which left most people openmouthed as he took the stage in a jeweled dress with his neon orange hair in a ponytail to a very crass version of the Black Eyed Peas’ “Boom Boom Pow.” Star is clearly only there for shock value, which explains why he is relegated to the closing set on the Smartpunk Stage.

So we left after that, covered in dust, our backpacks full of free stuff (and stuff that was not-so-free), and I with an ice pack on my neck. Aside from my minor injury, I had a good time, and if the Warped Tour comes through Hartford again next summer, I’d consider going.

’so you think you can dance’ update/reactions/etc.

So I’ve dropped the ball on the past two performance episodes of SYTYCD, but in my defense I was traveling last week and room renovations this week have left me without constant access to my laptop. Here are my thoughts on last week’s performances and this week’s show, fresh off the eliminations.

I watched half of last week’s dances on YouTube, and the other half in a karaoke bar in Atlantic City. I wasn’t very impressed with many of the routines; standouts included Randi and Evan’s ode to the female rump, choreographed by Mia Michaels, and Melissa and Ade’s rumba. I don’t know if it’s the dancers or the choreographers, but save the awesomeness of the top 20, I’ve been left kind of unenthused so far after each performance show.

This week was the same mixed bag of dancing, but I absolutely am head-over-heels in love with Melissa and Ade’s classical pas de deux. In the five seasons that SYTYCD has been on air, I’ve been dying for a classical ballet piece, but I had to wait until almost the 100th episode before I saw any true ballet dancing. Sure, I call shenanigans on the “randomness” of ballerina Melissa drawing the pas de deux, but I really don’t care because what resulted was one minute and 30 seconds of truly beautiful dancing. I obviously like dance more than the average person, and while I’ve seen countless ballet routines in my life, I literally got chills watching Melissa and Ade dance last night. I always laughed at Cat Deeley when she claimed dances gave her chills, but I was truly moved by Thordal Christensen’s simplistically beautiful choreography.

Here’s the dance for those of you who missed it and anyone who wants to see it again:

Speaking of shenanigans, I’m outraged at Vitolio’s elimination over Kupono, especially after the latter delivered one of the worst solos to grace the SYTYCD stage. I think the producers (Nigel included) are so giddy over the pairing of Kayla and Kupono that they couldn’t bear to part with their beloved Hawaiian contemporary dancer. It just doesn’t make sense.

enough already.

I listen to the radio a lot now that I’m home: in the car, while I’m at work, and in my room. I never listened to it when I was at school because I had iTunes, and frankly, the station selection in Poughkeepsie left a lot to be desired. I now realize I was better off not listening to the radio because the selection is terrible and they play the same 10 songs over and over again. Here are songs I would like to ban from further radio rotation:

Black Eyed Peas, “Boom Boom Pow”: This is the number one song on the Billboard charts, so that explains why I hear it even on adult contemporary stations. I hated this song when it first came out, then I warmed up and enjoyed it on my Saturday night jaunts to the bar, but now I’ve come full circle and loathe its very existence. When Fergie starts to scream the bridge, (“People in the place/If you wanna get down,” etc.) my ears start to ring and just want to curl up in a ball until it’s over.

Shinedown, “Second Chance”: I hate everything about this song, from its stupid music video with the runaway ballerina to the insipid lyrics. No, you did not just see Halley’s Comet, so stop trying to tell me you did. I can already tell this song will soon be making it onto grocery store playlists, and once you’re heard in the frozen food aisle at Stop and Shop, you lose all credibility.

Beyonce, “Halo”: My qualm with this song isn’t so much the fact that it’s overplayed, but the repetition of the word ‘halo.’ Beyonce says it 69 times throughout the song’s duration, (yes, I counted) and after about the 20th ‘halo,’ I’m driving off the road because I can’t focus on anything else but Mrs. Jay-Z’s favorite two-syllable word.

3OH!3, “Don’t Trust Me”: This song was cute and quirky when it first came out, and even I was singing along to “Shoosh girl, shut your lips/Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips,” but the novelty wore off quickly. I understand the quirky appeal of both the band and the song, but quirk can only carry you so far in this music industry. Gimmicky music like this makes me crazy.

The Fray, “You Found Me”: I enjoy the Fray, I really do. I have their first CD and it’s gotten a lot of play on my iPod, but this song is just so treacly and melodramatic. It’s been used in every show from Lost to The Real World, so hearing it ad nauseum on the radio is just overkill. Not to mention it’s interchangeable with about 80% of the Fray’s other songs.

Britney Spears, “If You Seek Amy”: I’ve had . I love almost every track off Circus, except this one, so I was prepared to grit my teeth and suffer through the incessant replays of this song. The tongue-in-cheek hilarity of the song’s title is made even worse by radio edits, which change the titular lyric to “If you see Amy.” As unexcited as I am about Britney’s next single, the Blackout-recycled “Radar,” I’d much prefer 2007’s leftovers to this ridiculous hot mess of a song.

’so you think you can dance’ recap: top 18

Last night’s show was rough. Some of last week’s top performers were not good, and most of the routines were just so-so. Other highlights of the show included Cat Deeley wearing a human-sized ruffled pillowcase, and the dancers revealing “secrets” about their partners.

Evan and Randi: We learned that Evan likes to build cars and that Randi’s dog is like her child. Yawn. I enjoyed their jive upon first watch because the two of them can sell a routine like no other, but after watching it a second time, I noticed all of the things the judges pointed out. I doubt many viewers, aside from those who are trained ballroom dancers, noticed the errors because Randi and Evan are truly fun to watch. (Oops…I tried so hard not to say “fun” in my recap.)

Ade and Melissa: We learned that Melissa and her sister are married to brothers, and that Ade’s full name is Adetokunbo Isaac Kayode Obayomi. Again, not very exciting. Moving on to the dancing…I have never been able to get behind Sonya Tayeh’s choreography, probably because I just don’t understand it, but I do know that these two performed it well last night. Melissa is a walking example of the idea that having a strong foundation in ballet translates well across all dance genres, and Ade is just great at anything he does.

Jason and Caitlin: Jason’s big secret is that he used to do Michael Jackson impressions as a child, and aside from the tragic mullet he sported, I wasn’t exactly falling off my couch in shock by this revelation. Caitlin’s secret is that she talks in baby voices and does a velociraptor imitation that annoys Jason. Come on, dancers, where’s the dirt? I want to be shocked and amazed! One thing that did not shock or amaze me was Shane Sparks’ hip-hop choreography for these two. It’s hard to make a great performance out of lackluster moves. Jason was much better than Caitlin, and even though you could tell she was trying, it was nowhere near as enjoyable as their week one Bollywood routine.

Brandon and Janette: Janette used to have busted teeth, (her orthodontist must have specialized in miracles) and incredibly ripped Brandon says he has never set foot in a gym. The clueless preteens in the audience audibly gasped at this revelation, but then again, saying the words “Jonas” or “Brothers” could send them all into catatonic fits. It’s called a dancer’s body, people! I always thought disco was simply a music genre until SYTYCD proved me wrong. Doriana Sanchez (who may or may not be made entirely out of plastic) choreographed possibly the fastest disco routine to grace a dance floor, but that didn’t hinder Janette and Brandon. I thought Janette’s facial mugging was a bit distracting, but I come from the school of “less is more” when it comes to facial expressions.

Vitolio and Asukah: I cannot for the life of me remember what their secrets were, so that shows you they probably weren’t very exciting. Their waltz is one of those dances where the emotional back story far outweighs any technical mishaps (see: Kherington and Twitch’s Viennese waltz from last season). Inspired by Vitolio’s plight as an orphan, Louis van Amstel crafted a beautiful waltz that wasn’t technically stunning, but it was emotional and they definitely connected more with the piece than they did with last week’s Broadway disaster.

Max and Kayla: Max is called a “housewife” by his fellow dancers because he likes to cook, and Kayla likes to text. Wow…an 18-year-old girl likes to text. Who would have seen that coming? Having been a teenager during the glory days of pop in the early 2000s, I was extremely familiar with Brian Friedman’s choreographic resume (Britney Spears, ‘NSync, P!nk, etc.). I was very happy to see him return to SYTYCD after a brief absence. Kayla and Max perfectly captured his pop-jazz routine, and I have to say, this week, I watched Max more than Kayla. Yes, Kayla is good, but I don’t really get all the hype from the judges. All I noted about her dancing last night is that she’s what I like to call a “fish face dancer,” meaning she dances with her mouth hanging open in a very unattractive way.

Jonathan and Karla: We learned that Jonathan (who my sister pointed out is a David Archuleta lookalike,) is tone deaf but sings all the time and that Karla, despite being labeled by Fox as a contemporary dancer, is actually a member of hip-hop crew Boogie Bots, as seen on season two of America’s Best Dance Crew. Ballroom dancing and ballet/lyrical/contemporary are both very technical genres, but each has its own specific technique. I was very surprised to see that ballroom dancer Jonathan was able to effortlessly slip into the contemporary technique, and I think he matched contemporary dancer Karla’s skill level.

Philip and Jeanine: We learned that Philip is a science nerd and has close to 40 reptiles in his room. We also learned that Jeanine has a teddy bear named Spanky that she dresses in coordinating clothes and claims is “better than a boyfriend.” What a perfect match: science nerd with a reptile fixation and crazy girl in love with a bear. “Hot mess” is the only thing that comes to mind when I think of their routine last night. Philip’s lack of technical training was glaringly obvious while attempting the tango, and Jeanine, probably sensing this, seemed to be working twice as hard to sell it. It was painfully awkward to watch.

Kupono and Ashley: We learned that Kupono is OCD to the point of irritation, (explains his lists) and that Ashley projectile vomited on her first-grade classmates. Really Ashley? That’s what you choose to tell America about you? Nothing else about you is as remarkable as the fact that you spewed barf before Show and Tell? Okay then…This was another Shane Sparks routine that I didn’t really like. Nigel claimed it was the dancers, but I think the source of the problem is Mr. Sparks himself. Two bad routines in one show points to the creator of said routines. Ashley was much better than Kupono. There were moments where she was hitting the choreography just right, and I just wanted to shake Kupono and say, “Can’t you synchronize yourself with her for one 8-count? Please?”

Predictions: It’s hard for me to pick three couples this week, because the ones who slipped are frontrunners/favorites. I can’t tell if America is going to vote based on who they like vs. who danced the best. (I only vote during the finale…I have better things to do with my time than repeatedly press redial for two hours after the show.) If I had to predict, I would say Asukah and Vitolio are going to be in the bottom, simply because neither of them has really connected with the audience. Ashley and Kupono could also see themselves dancing for their lives, and I think a third couple could be Philip and Jeanine. Based on the bottom three I chose, I think Asukah and Vitolio could be going home.

Tune in to Fox tonight at 9 p.m. EST to see who will be packing up their dance shoes.

seriously, get a grip.

I do not like Twilight. I read the book and I thought it was one of the worst books I’ve ever read, and that’s saying a lot because I’ve read hundreds of books in the 21 years I’ve been alive. My hatred of the book has prevented me from sitting through the torture that is the Twilight movie adaptation, and I’m thankful for this because a) Robert Pattinson is not attractive and b) I’ve seen paper bags that can emote better than Kristen Stewart. Not to mention the thought of sitting in a theater with a bunch of screaming fanatics makes me feel ill.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock or you don’t care about creepy vampires who sparkle in the sunlight, (I wish I was making that up) the first movie was so successful that the second book’s adaptation, New Moon, is coming to theaters in November. The trailer was released recently, to the delight of fans everywhere, and some fans even videotaped themselves watching the trailer and subsequently posted it on YouTube. Why someone would want to post a video in a public forum of them acting like a complete fool is beyond me, but below is a montage of some of the best reactions.