All posts for the month June, 2010
Posted by aljal on June 26, 2010
Apparently there has been a lack of professional behavior during meetings at my company, which should shock about zero people if they’re familiar with the workings of my office. Someone very high up in my company sent out the following email today, which I present to you as reason #673 why a trained monkey could run my company better than the current management, and as a testament to how proper grammar/spelling/syntax is a lost art form in corporate America. The notations in red are mine, naturally.
I sent a message to the directors the other day about how to act in a meeting and be professional. It seems to be the message has not been received. (Did you mean “seems to me,” or are you just unaware of how a sentence should be structured?) I know we have a lot of things being thrown at us and trust me I am addicted to my PDA but I am seeing reps in meetings that are not paying attention at all and are so focused they are not even listening to the meeting. (Run-on sentence much? There should be a smattering of commas in there, too.) I have been in three meetings lately with Global type companies and the Carousel rep is oblivious to what the customer is asking. At one point I had to reprimand two reps who were laughing with each other. If we want to be best in class let’s act like it. (Talk about the pot calling the kettle black…) The last things is our dress code is getting way to relaxed. (Should be “thing” and “too,” and about the dress code – no s**t, Sherlock.) I ask if we are doing a briefing for a customer in any location please wear a jacket or suit. Let’s look our part as well.
Sorry for the long email but we need to pay attention to the people that our (are) asking us to be there (their) advisor (adviser) and be thankful….
The grammar nerd inside of me wept when this email found its way to my inbox. Does this man not know how to operate spell check and/or understand the importance of proofreading? Oy vey…
Posted by aljal on June 22, 2010
In a story that seems like something found only in a romantic comedy, Seattle Mariners’ bullpen catcher Jason Phillips spotted a beautiful woman in the stands during a game last May. They made eye contact a few times throughout the game, and Phillips decided to make a bold move. He wrote his name and number on a ball and threw it to her.
They’re getting married this Sunday in the bullpen of Safeco Field.
How adorable is that story? To every woman who’s ever complained that rom coms are unrealistic, I offer Jason Phillips as proof. Romance isn’t dead, people.
That means the meaningful glances* Joba Chamberlain and I shared during the Sox/Yankees game last month must mean something, right?
*We made eye contact. Twice. Not like I was counting or anything.
Photo of Jason Phillips courtesy of baseball-fever.com.
Posted by aljal on June 17, 2010
Tom, whoever told you this was a good idea was wrong. Even if it was Gisele. It may just barely work for Justin Bieber, but he’s practically still in preschool. I just pray that this is some kooky off-season thing, like, “Oh, cool, I can grow a weird Dorothy Hamill-esque ‘do in the summer and then chop it all off before the season starts!” This is almost as misguided as that horrible mustache Mark Sanchez attempted to pull off for a few games last year.
Photo courtesy of Splash News via Dlisted.
Posted by aljal on June 16, 2010
Every year after Memorial Day, the music industry scrambles to name the song that will be the song of that summer; a song so ubiquitous that it’s forever associated with that year. I can’t hear Rihanna’s “Umbrella” without thinking of the summer of 2007, and the summer of 2009 belonged to Lady Gaga and “Love Game.” It’s still technically spring until mid-June, but it’s safe to award the title of song of summer 2010 to Katy Perry’s “California Gurls.”
Whether you’re from “the golden coast,” the east coast, or somewhere in between, there’s no denying the song’s sunny, upbeat feel. It practically begs to be played somewhere sandy and warm. True to summer song form, it’s as commercial as it gets, the most profound lyric being Perry’s assertion that “there must be something in the water.” The bass line is straight out of the 70’s, evoking images of roller skates and hot pants. Were this song released any other time of the year, it just wouldn’t feel right.
That doesn’t mean it’s without its faults, though. The first verse is fun, and you can’t help but sing along with the chorus, agreeing that California girls are “fine, fresh, fierce.” I start to grit my teeth in the second verse, especially on the line “We freak in my Jeep/Snoop Doggy Dog on the stereo.” Perry’s voice turns into some AutoTuned mishmash of sounds on the last note. The chorus helps restore my faith, but then a guest rap by Snoop Dog makes me turn up my nose. I can’t explain why, but I’ve always found Snoop a bit creepy, but I do appreciate a man who knows what a tankini is and is able to rhyme it with “martini” “weenie” and “in betweeny.” That’s the sign of a linguistic genius, folks.
All criticisms aside, I do turn up the radio every time this song comes on (which is quite often.) Because when your life consists of driving a 15-year-old Buick around northern Connecticut, you can’t help but be jealous of someone who can get away with Daisy Dukes and a bikini top as daily attire. I raise a gin and juice to you, Katy Perry. Enjoy your reign as the summer song of 2010.
Photo courtesy of Amazon.com.
Posted by aljal on June 11, 2010