Welcome to my first live blog of the new year and the start of awards season. (No, I don’t count the People’s Choice Awards. Shocking, I know.) The Globes are one of my favorites because a) everyone’s drinking throughout the show and b) you get the best of movies and television.
7:53 – I’ve got my one-woman media center ready to go: Chapstick, Blackberry and Snuggie. It’s so high-tech in here I can’t stand it.
8:00 – Not even a minute in and Ricky Gervais already has a drink nearby.
8:02 – I may be in the minority here, but I don’t find Mr. Gervais very funny. Oh, and we just had “Christ” bleeped out.
8:04 – Okay, but he just won me over a little with the Walking Dead/Hugh Hefner joke.
8:06 – Christian Bale wins Best Supporting Actor – Motion Picture for The Fighter.
8:09 – Julie Bowen. Love her.
8:10 – Katey Segal wins Best Actress in a TV Series – Drama for Sons of Anarchy.
8:12 – Whoever makes up the seating chart/sets up the tables has a cruel sense of humor.
8:16 – Julianne Moore appears to have lost one sleeve in a tragic limo door accident.
8:17 – I don’t know a single person who watches any of these TV mini-series or movies.
8:21 – The “shut up and get off the stage” music is so passive-aggressive.
8:22 – I think Bruce Willis was a bit taken aback by Ricky Gervais’ “Ashton Kutcher’s dad” joke.
8:24 – Literally screaming out loud that Chris Colfer just won a Golden Globe. Talk about well deserved. (He won Best Supporting Actor – TV Series, Mini-Series, Movie.)
8:25 – Perfect speech, Chris. Love him.
8:29 – Something else I just screamed about: the return of Parks and Recreation this week.
8:31 – The fact that Alice in Wonderland was nominated proves that 2010 was not a great year for movies.
8:32 – Oh snap…the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is sassy.
8:33 – Um, Milla, the Miss America pageant was last night.
8:34 – Steve Buscemi wins Best Actor – TV Series – Drama for Boardwalk Empire. Not surprising, but I was hoping for a win for my favorite serial killer, Michael C. Hall.
8:37 – Boardwalk Empire wins Best TV Series – Drama. Again, nothing surprising, but I think a lot of people would agree that the quality of television has far surpassed that of movies. The five shows nominated for this category have more quality in ten minutes than most movies do in over an hour.
8:39 – Seeing Angelina fixing Brad’s tie was an oddly intimate moment from America’s most scrutinized couple.
8:43 – My mother is apparently keeping a tally of how many British people appear on tonight’s telecast. (We’re up to three.)
8:44 – As a member of the Facebook generation, I’m a bit embarrassed that I haven’t seen The Social Network yet.
8:45 – “Alec from the Rock and Jenny from the Block.” Genius.
8:47 – Two songs nominated from Burlesque? Yikes. One’s a winner, too.
8:48 – Confession: I instantly hate people who have their acceptance speeches pre-written.
8:50 – Trent Reznor has just won a Golden Globe. The apocalypse is nigh.
8:55 – The fact that Justin Bieber is at the Golden Globes makes me want to vomit.
8:57 – Toy Story 3 wins Best Motion Picture – Animated. This is another movie I’m ashamed that I haven’t seen.
8:59 – I really don’t know whether to laugh or cringe at Gervais’ rehab and jail jokes at Robert Downey Jr.’s expense.
9:01 – I’m officially starting the campaign to have RDJ host the Globes next year.
9:02 – Annette Bening predictably wins Best Actress in a Motion Picture Comedy-Musical for The Kids Are All Right. I knew it was a long shot, but I was hoping for an Emma Stone win. She was superb in Easy A.
9:06 – Don’t look know, but a rabid animal has taken up residence on Al Pacino’s head.
9:11 – If someone told me Tilda Swinton came from another planet, I would believe them.
9:12 – Pacino: hair plugs or just bad hair? I’m quite curious.
9:13 – Uncle Jesse is at the Golden Globes! I see you peering around Lea Michele, John Stamos.
9:16 – Holy hell, I hope Claire Danes’ award has a sleeve of Saltines inside it. Eat something, girl!
9:23 – Zac Efron’s military-style haircut: do not like.
9:24 – Please pardon me while I worship at the altar of Tina Fey.
9:26 – Carell and Fey…a match made in comedic heaven.
9:28 – “Smart girls have more fun.” Hell yes, they do.
9:29 – Another Glee win, this time for Sue Sylvester herself. Jane Lynch is awesome.
9:36 – Oh, Olivia Wilde…why must you ruin a gorgeous Marchesa dress with such awful hair?
9:37 – The lady who just won for Best Foreign Film flashed her Spanx as she was walking up the stairs. Whoops…
9:40 – Kind of thankful that Laura Linney isn’t here to accept her award, because that’s one less speech we have to sit through.
9:47 – I loved Burlesque, but it was by no means Golden Globe-worthy.
9:48 – It appears that the Big Bang Theory cast was seated in a dark corner. Congratulations to Jim Parsons on his win.
9:50 – Best Supporting Actress goes to…Melissa Leo for The Fighter. Boo, I wanted a Mila Kunis win.
9:50 – Don’t tell anyone, but…I’m kind of bored. I’m in a mid-show slump.
9:58 – Matt Damon is like a fine wine…better with age.
10:00 – Call me uncultured, but I can only think of Robert DeNiro saying, “Double dose,” in the Little Fockers trailer.
10:03 – Was I hallucinating, or did they really include The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle in DeNiro’s best-of montage?
10:07 – Someone get Mr. DeNiro some glasses so he can read the teleprompter.
10:14 – All of these wins for The Social Network make me want to see it ASAP.
10:16 – Dear David Fincher, jokes aren’t that funny when you’re reading them from something you typed in a Microsoft Word document last week.
10:18 – Best Comedy goes to…Glee. I love this show, but I really wanted to see Modern Family win.
10:24 – I’ve never even heard of the movie Paul Giamatti just won for, but he’s a great actor.
10:27 – Lots of censoring going on tonight. Someone’s busy in the NBC control room.
10:29 – Emma Stone and Mila Kunis would be great in a well-written buddy comedy. Screenwriters of the world, get on this.
10:34 – Natalie Portman totally deserves this win for Black Swan. No one could play ballerina-gone-psycho better than her.
10:37 – Darren Aronofsky’s mustache is ridiculous. It looks like he pasted it on in the limo on the way over.
10:39 – Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical is The Kids Are All Right. A real shocker, considering its competition included Burlesque and Alice in Wonderland…
10:41 – I have a saying that goes, “Friends don’t let friends get unfortunate bangs.” Sandra, your friends dropped the ball.
10:47 – Colin Firth wins for The King’s Speech. He’s so charming and British-y.
10:50 – I wish I was more adept at lip-reading, because I would love to know what some of these celebrities are saying to each other. I mean, what do you think Robert Downey, Jr. and Johnny Depp talk about? How to maintain that homeless man chic look?
10:54 – A standing ovation for someone with cancer just seems patronizing, but I like that Michael Douglas made a joke of it.
10:55 – Social Network wins Best Picture – Drama. This was such a strong category that I wouldn’t have been surprised if the award went to any of them.
And we’re done! Thank you to everyone who stopped by to read.