golden globes live blog 2011

Welcome to my first live blog of the new year and the start of awards season. (No, I don’t count the People’s Choice Awards. Shocking, I know.) The Globes are one of my favorites because a) everyone’s drinking throughout the show and b) you get the best of movies and television.

7:53 – I’ve got my one-woman media center ready to go: Chapstick, Blackberry and Snuggie. It’s so high-tech in here I can’t stand it.

8:00 – Not even a minute in and Ricky Gervais already has a drink nearby.

8:02 – I may be in the minority here, but I don’t find Mr. Gervais very funny. Oh, and we just had “Christ” bleeped out.

8:04 – Okay, but he just won me over a little with the Walking Dead/Hugh Hefner joke.

8:06 – Christian Bale wins Best Supporting Actor – Motion Picture for The Fighter.

8:09 – Julie Bowen. Love her.

8:10 – Katey Segal wins Best Actress in a TV Series – Drama for Sons of Anarchy.

8:12 – Whoever makes up the seating chart/sets up the tables has a cruel sense of humor.

8:16 – Julianne Moore appears to have lost one sleeve in a tragic limo door accident.

8:17 – I don’t know a single person who watches any of these TV mini-series or movies.

8:21 – The “shut up and get off the stage” music is so passive-aggressive.

8:22 – I think Bruce Willis was a bit taken aback by Ricky Gervais’ “Ashton Kutcher’s dad” joke.

8:24 – Literally screaming out loud that Chris Colfer just won a Golden Globe. Talk about well deserved. (He won Best Supporting Actor – TV Series, Mini-Series, Movie.)

8:25 – Perfect speech, Chris. Love him.

8:29 – Something else I just screamed about: the return of Parks and Recreation this week.

8:31 – The fact that Alice in Wonderland was nominated proves that 2010 was not a great year for movies.

8:32 – Oh snap…the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is sassy.

8:33 – Um, Milla, the Miss America pageant was last night.

8:34 – Steve Buscemi wins Best Actor – TV Series – Drama for Boardwalk Empire. Not surprising, but I was hoping for a win for my favorite serial killer, Michael C. Hall.

8:37Boardwalk Empire wins Best TV Series – Drama. Again, nothing surprising, but I think a lot of people would agree that the quality of television has far surpassed that of movies. The five shows nominated for this category have more quality in ten minutes than most movies do in over an hour.

8:39 – Seeing Angelina fixing Brad’s tie was an oddly intimate moment from America’s most scrutinized couple.

8:43 – My mother is apparently keeping a tally of how many British people appear on tonight’s telecast. (We’re up to three.)

8:44 – As a member of the Facebook generation, I’m a bit embarrassed that I haven’t seen The Social Network yet.

8:45 – “Alec from the Rock and Jenny from the Block.” Genius.

8:47 – Two songs nominated from Burlesque? Yikes. One’s a winner, too.

8:48 – Confession: I instantly hate people who have their acceptance speeches pre-written.

8:50 – Trent Reznor has just won a Golden Globe. The apocalypse is nigh.

8:55 – The fact that Justin Bieber is at the Golden Globes makes me want to vomit.

8:57Toy Story 3 wins Best Motion Picture – Animated. This is another movie I’m ashamed that I haven’t seen.

8:59 – I really don’t know whether to laugh or cringe at Gervais’ rehab and jail jokes at Robert Downey Jr.’s expense.

9:01 – I’m officially starting the campaign to have RDJ host the Globes next year.

9:02 – Annette Bening predictably wins Best Actress in a Motion Picture Comedy-Musical for The Kids Are All Right. I knew it was a long shot, but I was hoping for an Emma Stone win. She was superb in Easy A.

9:06 – Don’t look know, but a rabid animal has taken up residence on Al Pacino’s head.

9:11 – If someone told me Tilda Swinton came from another planet, I would believe them.

9:12 – Pacino: hair plugs or just bad hair? I’m quite curious.

9:13 – Uncle Jesse is at the Golden Globes! I see you peering around Lea Michele, John Stamos.

9:16 – Holy hell, I hope Claire Danes’ award has a sleeve of Saltines inside it. Eat something, girl!

9:23 – Zac Efron’s military-style haircut: do not like.

9:24 – Please pardon me while I worship at the altar of Tina Fey.

9:26 – Carell and Feya match made in comedic heaven.

9:28 – “Smart girls have more fun.” Hell yes, they do.

9:29 – Another Glee win, this time for Sue Sylvester herself. Jane Lynch is awesome.

9:36 – Oh, Olivia Wilde…why must you ruin a gorgeous Marchesa dress with such awful hair?

9:37 – The lady who just won for Best Foreign Film flashed her Spanx as she was walking up the stairs. Whoops…

9:40 – Kind of thankful that Laura Linney isn’t here to accept her award, because that’s one less speech we have to sit through.

9:47 – I loved Burlesque, but it was by no means Golden Globe-worthy.

9:48 – It appears that the Big Bang Theory cast was seated in a dark corner. Congratulations to Jim Parsons on his win.

9:50 – Best Supporting Actress goes to…Melissa Leo for The Fighter. Boo, I wanted a Mila Kunis win.

9:50 – Don’t tell anyone, but…I’m kind of bored. I’m in a mid-show slump.

9:58 – Matt Damon is like a fine wine…better with age.

10:00 – Call me uncultured, but I can only think of Robert DeNiro saying, “Double dose,” in the Little Fockers trailer.

10:03 – Was I hallucinating, or did they really include The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle in DeNiro’s best-of montage?

10:07 – Someone get Mr. DeNiro some glasses so he can read the teleprompter.

10:14 – All of these wins for The Social Network make me want to see it ASAP.

10:16 – Dear David Fincher, jokes aren’t that funny when you’re reading them from something you typed in a Microsoft Word document last week.

10:18 – Best Comedy goes to…Glee.  I love this show, but I really wanted to see Modern Family win.

10:24 – I’ve never even heard of the movie Paul Giamatti just won for, but he’s a great actor.

10:27 – Lots of censoring going on tonight. Someone’s busy in the NBC control room.

10:29 – Emma Stone and Mila Kunis would be great in a well-written buddy comedy. Screenwriters of the world, get on this.

10:34 – Natalie Portman totally deserves this win for Black Swan. No one could play ballerina-gone-psycho better than her.

10:37 – Darren Aronofsky’s mustache is ridiculous. It looks like he pasted it on in the limo on the way over.

10:39 – Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical is The Kids Are All Right. A real shocker, considering its competition included Burlesque and Alice in Wonderland

10:41 – I have a saying that goes, “Friends don’t let friends get unfortunate bangs.” Sandra, your friends dropped the ball.

10:47 – Colin Firth wins for The King’s Speech. He’s so charming and British-y.

10:50 – I wish I was more adept at lip-reading, because I would love to know what some of these celebrities are saying to each other. I mean, what do you think Robert Downey, Jr. and Johnny Depp talk about? How to maintain that homeless man chic look?

10:54 – A standing ovation for someone with cancer just seems patronizing, but I like that Michael Douglas made a joke of it.

10:55Social Network wins Best Picture – Drama. This was such a strong category that I wouldn’t have been surprised if the award went to any of them.

And we’re done! Thank you to everyone who stopped by to read.

what are you doing?

I consider myself to be pretty web-savvy, but there’s one part of the Internet I just don’t get: Twitter. I know a lot of people who are on it, and I do check their Twitter profiles occasionally, but I still don’t see the point. Twitter’s website describes their service as such:

Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?

Isn’t that what emails, IMs, texts and phone calls are for? Why do we need this website, which is basically a glorified Facebook status, to tell people what we’re doing? And honestly, I really don’t need a minute-by-minute update of your life. If I care that much, I’ll text you or, call me crazy, I’ll actually talk to you in person!

Who knows…maybe I’m just out of touch, but I don’t think I’ll be signing up for Twitter any time soon.

yes, i gave in to peer pressure.

I joined the thousands of people who are willing to share 25 random facts about themselves on Facebook. (The New York Times even wrote an article about it.) Since I like writing about myself so much, (hence this blog) I’m going to repost my 25 facts for everyone’s reading enjoyment.

1. My hair is currently its natural color, which it hasn’t been in 5 years.

2. When I was younger, I was terrified of Pee Wee Herman. (And I still kind of am.)

3. My feet are two different sizes (7 and 8.5) and I HATE shoe shopping because of this.

4. I’m severely tone deaf, which anyone who’s heard me do karaoke at Nuddy’s can attest to.

5. When I was 12, I got my hair cut really, really, really short, and when people see pictures of me from that time, they ask who that boy is. I’m scarred for life by this and subsequently never cut my hair shorter than shoulder-length.

6. I hate when people touch my neck or throat.

7. One of my biggest fears is never getting married and being alone for the rest of my life.

8. I’m a firm believer in karma…what goes around comes around.

9. In middle school, I was convinced I was going to play basketball for UConn…until I played rec basketball and absolutely hated it.

10. I talk in my sleep all the time, and I occasionally sleepwalk.

11. I had braces for 5 years and I’m still not happy with how my teeth look.

12. My brain is like a sponge for trivia/pop culture facts. Sports trivia, not so much, but I’m trying.

13. The fact that I’m graduating TERRIFIES ME. Nothing in my life has been scarier than this and I feel sick thinking about it.

14. I wish I had better style…I tend to dress like I’m 15, which is probably why a lot of people ask me when I’m graduating from high school.

15. I love makeup but I always need help putting it on.

16. The smell of books is one of the best smells in the world.

17. Contrary to popular belief, having webbed feet does not make you a better swimmer. I can barely tread water.

18. I have very bad road rage.

19. I’m terrible at keeping in touch with people and I hate talking on the phone.

20. I can’t inflict any sort of pain on myself….plucking my eyebrows, ripping off Band-Aids, etc.

21. I like the idea of the beach, but once I’m actually there, I hate getting sandy and salty. I’m terrified of the ocean, too.

22. I read Twilight and I HATED IT. I’ve read hundreds of books in my life, and this horrible piece of crap ranks in the top 5. Nothing you say can convince me otherwise.

23. I don’t like relying on other people, especially when it’s for something I know I’m capable of doing myself (such as driving.)

24. I’m incredibly self-conscious about my iTunes library and I always wonder what people would think about me if they looked through it.

25. I’m incredibly, horribly jealous of people who can wear flip-flops. I’ve even researched surgeries to undo webbed feet.