I hadn’t intended on live-blogging the ACMs, but halfway through Reba’s opening monologue, I decided to get my laptop and have at it.
8:18 – Eighteen minutes in and we’ve had three performances and no award presentations. This is why country awards shows are so great.
8:20 – This may be one of the worst Kenny Chesney songs I’ve heard. Every song of his is starting to sound the same.
8:23 – Is it wrong that I’d rather see the Jonas Brothers’ concert in 3D over Kenny’s?
8:26 – Reba looks great, as usual.
8:27 – Mom, upon seeing Faith Hill: “Wow, is this ugly hair night?”
8:29 – Lady A takes song of the year! Love them.
8:31 – Dear Laura Bell Bundy, country music doesn’t need its own Britney Spears. You’re better suited for Broadway.
8:33 – I adored LBB in Hairspray and Legally Blonde, but honey, that was just terrible.
8:40 – I greatly prefer the kinder and gentler side of Toby Keith, instead of his ‘angry American’ shtick.
8:45 – This one-two punch of the Toby Keith song and then USO footage is really getting to me. I will not cry, I will not cry…
8:53 – Sooo I still don’t think I get the difference between Single and Song of the year…
8:54 – Another Lady A win! Hillary Scott looks lovely in that fuchsia dress.
9:00 – Person most out of place tonight: LL Cool J.
9:01 – T. Swift is already more in tune in these 30 seconds than she was in her entire Grammy performance.
9:04 – Taylor’s come such a long way since her performance of “Tim McGraw” with the song’s namesake sitting in the front row.
9:05 – I’d like to know what product Taylor uses in her hair to keep it so frizz-free and bouncy. Also, I’m surprised she sang “Change.” Interesting choice.
9:06 – Julianne Hough is way too orange and her poor boobs look like they’re trying to make a run for it.
9:08 – Fun fact: Gloriana’s Cheyenne Kimball had her own MTV reality show back in the early ’00s, and she dated American Idol‘s Jason Castro on the show.
9:09 – Who is this man in the overalls with the tanorexic lady? Never heard them on country radio before…
9:12 – There will not be any commenting during the upcoming Lady A performance. I must watch every second. “American Honey” is my jam.
9:16 – I will be purchasing both of Lady A’s CDs tomorrow. It’s official.
9:18 – Just voted for Brooks and Dunn to sing “My Maria” and for Carrie Underwood as Entertainer of the Year.
9:21 – Rascal Flatts could literally sing the phone book and people would buy their CD. Whoa, Gary Le Vox is a bit pitchy, dawg.
9:25 – Album of the Year goes to…Miranda Lambert. I’m not really shocked; she’s a total critics’ darling.
9:28 – If I was a famous person, I would go on as many USO tours as I could. Damn it, I’m tearing up again.
9:29 – Jason Aldean’s first album is great, but aside from “Johnny Cash,” everything else he’s put out is just so-so.
9:38 – I can’t listen to this Miranda Lambert song on the radio anymore because the first time I heard it, I was sobbing so hard I could barely drive.
9:42 – I’m losing the remote control battle to Mom and Celebrity Apprentice.
9:44 – I doubt you can find a grown man openly weeping about humanitarian work on any other awards show. Bravo, Montgomery Gentry.
9:46 – Jack Ingram and Dierks Bentley = two very talented men on one stage. Love them both…but this song is kinda lame.
9:51 – I despise this Zegrid commercial where the man paints things on his torso. Creepy.
9:53 – On a CBS-related note, I’m totally geeked for this week’s episode of Survivor.
9:56 – Carrie’s my homegirl, but this song is so treacly and overwrought.
10:00 – Oh, another Lady Antebellum win. Shocking.
10:03 – Tim McGraw brings the total number of ACM performances I’ve cried during to three. Stop toying with my emotions, country music.
10:11 – Brad Paisley is just awesome.
10:15 – I’m glad Brad doesn’t take all of his songs so literally…can you imagine what sort of stunt he could have pulled with “Ticks”?
10:17 – Matthew McConaughey’s “lady” (his word, not mine) looks absolutely mortified that he just shared the location of their daughter’s conception.
10:18 – Brad Paisley may be the first person to ever accept an award while soaking wet.
10:24 – Yessss Brooks and Dunn are singing “My Maria.” Awesome song….but lots of technical difficulties.
10:27 – The fact that Ronnie Dunn is successfully hitting all those falsetto notes is impressive. These two will be sorely missed from the country music scene.
10:29 – I covet Carrie’s white cupcake-ish dress.
10:30 – Randy Travis is starting to resemble Skeletor. And I think approximately zero people are shocked that Brooks and Dunn just won Top Vocal Duo.
10:37 – Reba’s great, but I find 98% of her music to be quite boring. Now “Fancy”…that’s a song I can get behind.
10:40 – Ugh, Josh Duhamel, that’s an ugly suit. Did Fergie pick it out?
10:42 – Miranda Lambert’s dress has just been panned by the illustrious fashion critics also known as my parents.
10:47 – Is this Keith Urban performance live? I’m confused.
10:50 – It’s totally adorable that Nicole Kidman is singing along in the audience.
10:54 – And Entertainer of the Year 2010 is…CARRIE UNDERWOOD! I’m sure my one vote was the deciding factor. You’re welcome, Carrie.
10:56 – And Hootie is closing the show. Goodnight y’all : )